Autism...just one of many facets of our family

There is a point when you realize that it all has been worth it.

I walked out to the van this morning (as we are all packing to head to Florida) and Patrick, my six year old son who has autism, was sitting in the back seat between his brothers. He was looking the other direction (he had just arrived with his grandparents). I said "Patrick" and he turned to look at me. "Good Morning" I say, "Good Morning Mama" he replies in a very "perfectly practiced" voice.

"Nice answer" was my reply. Hmm. All of a sudden it hit me. The eye contact, responding to his name....WOW. What a big improvement over a one year old child that had blocked out everything in his life to the point we all thought he was deaf.

Today the whole family....my husband, four children ages 4,5,6,and 7, and two grandparents are all packed into the car and we are heading to the airport. Patrick is very excited, maybe to the point of being overstimulated, and he has asked us a million times about the "airport" and the "beach." I am heading to the Galaxy International Pageant in Florida and we are doing double duty by also getting Patrick an IVIG treatment at his doctor while we are down here. This will be his third IVIG and so far we are seeing improvements in language and overall stiminess.

I wanted to try IVIG for awhile but I got so beat down by all the biomedical and all the supplements that I didn't know what to do. We are doing very few supplements right now but at one point we did at least fifty a day and maybe more. I remember when he was little that we had to mix it and then put some juice in the mixture so we could force it down him with a medicine dropper. It wasn't fun doing this five times daily. I had a chart I made on Excel that was broken down into morning, mid morning, noon, afternoon and dinner. Our lives revolved around the medicine schedule.

I am not sure what really precipitated our turning point. After four kids I was so out of shape I could barely walk up my stairs. In 2006 I got in the best shape of my life. Obviously a mental (and physical....and emotional) turning point for me. I know it might sound impossible to many of you but I urge you.....just do it. A strong, healthy body will empower a strong, healthy mind and that means....YES, you guessed it....a stronger, healthier you.

Our family doesn't let autism rule our life. I think that is what we learned and what got us to this place. When Patrick was 2 and 3 autism ruled our house. No longer. It isn't every book we read and every thing we do. We refuse to let our lives revolve around it. We didn't purposely do this but it was much later that I realized it had happened. I'm not even sure how it happened but it just did...Thank God.

I made the realization after I had to type a paragraph about my children for a magazine article, I don't even remember which one. The paragraph went like this: "Rosemary is 7, she enjoys raising puppies and doing gymnastics; Patrick is 6, he likes trains and drawing, he also has autism; Robert, 5, likes "helping" and wants to be a race car driver; Joe, 4, thinks he is a girl right now and loves watching Spongebob." Autism is just one of the many, many varied facets of our family.

But it doesn't rule us.

My Promise Today

Today I promise my children that I will be patient and not snap at them NO MATTER what type of messes occur or what type of catastrophes we have.

Yesterday.....what a day in our household. Somehow I got behind on the house work....a few months ago....hmmm.....maybe a few years ago. And I still haven't caught up yet.

With four children if you get behind on laundry in our home for just one day then you might as well expect to play "catch up" on a laundry game that seemingly never ends.

As much as we have managed to keep Patrick's autism at a fairly good level with bio-medical treatments and diet I can honestly say that Saturday was quite a flare up. Maybe I just make the topic of this post about the importance of following the GF/CF diet. We have flip-flopped around on and off this diet for years; there have been times with four children that I have wanted to believe the diet didn't really make a difference. Well, trust me, it does.

We are back on the diet, fairly stringently. We can tell it is working because our son seeks out play doh, toothpaste, and even certain papers that contain gluten. Friday was a busy...crazy busy...day in our household. We inadvertently let him eat some chicken nuggets that had gluten.

I have paid for it today. I have taken away all kid movies from him to stop with the movie talk (more about that later) but today he found some Leave it To Beaver re-runs. He decided to start repeating "Beaver, Are you Sore?" and "Beaver don't be sore." Over and Over.

Also, gluten will effect him to where he will sometimes growl at me if he does not like something. Different concentrations seem to effect this more....thin crust Domino's pizza can cause a three day growling regression. Today it was just small growling in reaction to my constant punishment for the messes he was making in the kitchen. He wanted to take cups and pour water everywhere then emulate "cleaning day" from Pippi Longstocking. If you remember, there aren't any adults that live with Pippi, and obviously for a good reason. "Cleaning Day" isn't very amusing from an adult perspective. Especially when it involves swishing water around with sock feet on the kitchen floor.

While this is occurring, the other three kids are all vying for attention: a four year old (who acts like he is still in the terrible two's) is saying "hold me, hold me"; my seven year old is saying "You never play games with me" (don't those six or seven daily games of Uno count) and actually I wasn't quite sure what the five year old was doing at this time.

So, today, as I sit here typing at 5 AM, thinking about getting the kids church clothes laid out, realizing that because of the Bible School program this morning that the kids wont have children's church (that means my son with autism will be in the sanctuary all during the church), thinking about getting myself ready, realizing the dog needs water, checking on her seven newborn puppies, I realized that I needed to try hard to be extra especially nice today. I love my children and I don't want all their memories of me to be one of my acting frustrated on the longer days. So I wrote myself a post it "B Nice." Let's hope.

I am sitting here typing this and mentally checking off all the items that I need to do to prepare for the Mrs. Galaxy pageant within the next two weeks. One may wonder why I want to spend my time preparing for a beauty pageant. I was actually doing a radio interview awhile back and the guy asked me why in the world I wanted to do pageants.
Why? Well, of all the negative things I hear that are portrayed on reality shows regarding pageants....which I am happy to say I don't watch reality shows or basically any television shows......I can honestly say I haven't had those crazy experiences. I have met some of my best friends through pageants. I have already met some wonderful women who are affiliated with the Galaxy pageant and I have met some of the nicest, most admirable women I have known through Mrs. International.
Beauty pageants gave me a strong motivation to get my body/mind back in shape after four children. Believe me, I needed something. I think it was the final straw when my husband told me I was fat and I would never get myself in shape to compete in a local America prelim. To be completely up front, I wasn't a size 2 like I had been B.C. (before children) however, I was roughly a size 8 and even a 6 depending on the designer. I also weighed 130 lbs. That comment from him in the heat of anger and just all around misery that we were experiencing with each other at the time turned out to be the best thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said that in mid Dec 2005, and by March 2006 I was crowned Mrs Purchase Area. By July of 2006 I was in the best shape of my life!!!
Additionally, pageants have given me great vehicle for promoting Autism Awareness and now even MDRI, Mental Disability Rights International on a much larger level than I ever could just in my hometown. At Mrs International I got to talk about autism on television with Bob Eubanks (of the Newlywed Game fame).
Hey, and being in pageants has given me this fabulous wardrobe! I sure wouldnt have these clothes if I was just hanging around the house with the kids. Staying in pageants over the last three years has also given me the opportunity to stay in shape and to always have a fitness goal hanging out there. It is a good thing because I havent wavered too much on my fitness routine.
I would urge anyone to find a goal...whether a fitness goal or other goal such as a class or completing an art project. Setting goals can change your life and once you reach that first goal they keep changing and YOU keep growing!